This is the censored version of my epic song "Everything Is Fucked", to keep the kiddies happy. Obviously, it contains a lot of beeping.
I was gifted this song by the Divine Creator during a yin yoga class in North Bondi, Sydney, Australia at 6:37pm on 17th February 2017; while in Frog pose for seven agonising minutes.
At the time, I had been suffering from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome for nine years and after five months pushing myself through three excruciating yoga sessions a week, wasn't getting the results that I had hoped for: I had totally failed to pick-up at a yoga studio full of gorgeous young women, I was rapidly going broke because my Life Coaching business had failed to take off (who wants a sick Life Coach?!?), both my elderly parents had been diagnosed with cancer, a sweet hot girl I met online and completely fell for had started going out with a musician who lived 12,000 km closer to her than me; and I was still chronically ill. When the dishwasher in my apartment appeared to have stopped working properly, that was the last straw for me.
I went home, recorded the lyrics and melody I'd heard in my head at yoga, worked out the chords on my guitar, cancelled my yoga studio membership, and enrolled in a full-time music course to learn how to play and record it. I have not been back to yoga since.
The song was a turning point for me because it allowed me to get the repressed rage out of my system. Now I'm sharing it with you so that you can get the repressed rage out of your system too.
It's a song about anger really: an emotion we're often not taught how to deal with well. Be angry by all means, get it out of your system and let it go; but just don't hurt anybody in the process, OK?
Namaste, a*******!
lyrics
[Verse 1]
Everything is f****d
It might as well get chucked
My dishwasher is broken
Think I'll throw it in the ocean
Because everything is f****d
I might as well get stuffed
My mum and dad have cancer
And there's no such thing as Santa
And the girl I love is dating
A drummer named Dave
She's prob'ly his sex slave
[Verse 2]
All: Everything is f****d
I'm feeling rather puffed
Some days I feel so tired
That I can't get out of bed
The doctors give me blank looks
Say "It's all just in your head"
You'd think that they were joshing
But then why can't I stop coughing?
There is no God
Yet the guilt and fear remain
And it's pouring rain
[Chorus 1]
I think I made a small mistake
Somewhere along the line
That somehow got all magnified
By the passages of time
And while my insecurities
Are there for all to see
What if my inner critic
Is actually the real me?
[Instrumental Verse]
All: Everything is f****d
[Verse 3]
All: Everything is f****d
We might as well get stuffed
I'm giving up on yoga
And I panicked in a toga, that's why
(All:) Everything is f****d
The world can go get stuffed
I'm sick of meditation
And I need some inspiration
I'm so damn tired of the voice
That's in my head
I'm wishing it was dead
[Chorus 2]
I used to think that I was
Such a positive up-beat guy
But now I've got this feeling
It was all a filthy lie
And if you should expect
A happy ending to this song
I'll break it to you gently:
You are dead arse f***ing wrong
[Outro]
All: Because everything is f****d x 3
credits
released January 15, 2019
Recording Artists:
Songwriter: Graham Stoney
Lead Vocals: Graham Stoney
Rhythm Guitar: Pedro Gonzalez
Bass: Jonathan Joukhadar
Lead Guitar: Paul Ahsan
Drums & Percussion: Cy Donkin
Backing Vocals: Jeffrey Liu, Cy Donkin
Recording Engineering: Ayesha Cochrane, Jeffrey Liu, Cy Donkin
Mixing & Mastering: Oleksii Alekseichuk
Producer: Graham Stoney
Thanks To My Mentors:
Frank Burgo
Bruce Reid
Mel Forbes
Tania Bowra
Herm Kovac
Kerry Furlong
Stephen Marquis
Michael Brown
Bernie Nevis
Nick Bleszynski
Extra Video Sequences Courtesy Of:
Brandon Butler
Patipat Siriwajana
NASA
North Korean Military
Channel 7 Sunrise
Thanks For Your Support:
Margot Thomas
Riona Evans
Jason Lorenzo
Eddy Thomas
Cody James
Rocio Fonseca
Viviana Viteri
Michelle Baker
Chanelle Violet
Colleen Kenny
The students of Sydney TAFE Music
Encouragement Along The Way:
Clayton Frick
Stuart Spence
Lisa Jonsson
Heather Lynn
Marja Jacobsen
Gav Bell
Thanks For The Inspiration:
Spinal Tapp
Flight of the Conchords
Tim Minchin
Lewis Black
Arj Barker
Ramones
Paul Kelly
Bob Dylan
The Beatles
Dharma Shala yoga studio
God
Dave
